Don’t Speak!

Some people have told me that they don’t like it when I talk about negative things here at BFD. They like the happy posts, the ones where I share inspiring stories or talk about something good that happened. I think that we have a fundamental disagreement about what inspiring means. Because when I get fired up, worked up, and outraged by something, I find that inspiring in a very important way. Here’s an example.

Last week, The New York Times ran an opinion letter from advice columnist and author who is upset about fat people – young girls in particular. She says things like “I wish we could change the depressing fact that one of three kids is overweight or obese” and “Our world is not one-size-fits-all, and yes, XL is O.K. But when a girl is XXXL (or, for that matter, emaciated), I don’t think: Let’s not talk about it.”

hFE406D6A

First of all, what world is Carol Weston living in where we aren’t constantly talking about body size? You can’t turn on a talk show or open a magazine or click on a news site without seeing something about how people’s bodies are wrong and we really need to do something about it. And second of all, why is it that so many thin people think that fat people don’t know they are fat? I am quite aware of the size of my body, and I don’t need a thin person to remind me. Pretty sure that “emaciated” people feel the same.

bullets-over-broadway-6

So anyway, The New York Times asked people to respond to Ms. Weston. Great! An open dialogue! I submitted a response, as did several fat- and body-positive writers whom I admire and follow. Do you want to guess how many of our letters were chosen for publication? Did you guess zero? You win a prize!

shh

There were a few okay comments, about genetics and biology and how shaming is wrong. One writer even attempted to mention Health At Every Size (but got the name wrong). But most of it was stuff like this:

  • Better advice would have focused on seeking expert help from a health care professional trained in obesity.
  • The hard truth is that a healthy meal is more expensive than a double cheeseburger at McDonald’s.
  • I’m one of those old-fashioned women who refuses to believe that, given the choice, a woman wouldn’t rather wear a size 10 than a size 16.
  • Obesity is a public health problem, and it will take a committed approach involving many sectors.
  • It is up to pediatricians and family doctors to recommend more exercise, smaller portions and less processed food to overweight children.

It’s the same garbage over and over: Fat people need to be told they are fat. All fat people overeat unhealthy foods and don’t exercise, and we need to make them stop doing that. We need to band together to make fat people skinny. Not one mention of the fact that it’s nearly impossible to do that. No mention of the fact that there are plenty of thin people who overeat unhealthy foods and don’t exercise. Just the usual hand wringing, misinformation, and worry that does nothing to make the lives of fat people any better.

gwen-stefani-hollarback-300-400-101The New York Times proclaimed to want to have a discussion about “obesity,” which to me meant hearing many voices – including and especially fat voices (and not just fat voices who support the diet industry and fear fat). But by the responses they chose to publish, it’s clear that they never intended to have a true discussion. Carol Weston is really worried about fat teenagers, and while the Times published a response from a teenager, she began her reply, “I’m 16 years old and not obese.” Where are the fat teenager voices?

Fat voices are silenced in so many ways. There was an “obesity” conference in Canada a couple of weeks ago. Want to see what one of the panels of experts looks like? And here are some “warriors” in the fight against obesity. Here’s what I said to the doctor who posted those pictures, and his response.

discussionGood point… and?

They don’t want us to speak. If we don’t speak, then concerned thin people and thin “obesity” experts can continue to insist that we don’t know we’re fat, can continue to assume they know what we eat and how we move, can continue to wring their hands about how wrong we are. If we don’t speak, billions of dollars can continue to be made from people hating their bodies.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to continue to write, talk, speak, shout. I will make my voice heard. I will not be ignored, and I will not be silenced. This discussion is about me, and you can be I’m going to be part of it.

Back to Top
%d bloggers like this: