Choice of Words

Here’s something that I’m shocked hasn’t been brought up about the Jennifer Livingston video (posted below), who was fat-shamed by a stranger: The man said that being fat was both a “choice” and a “habit.”

Jennifer’s on-air response focused on the fact that this man criticized her for being a poor public role model for the children in her viewing area. Which is great. I think it’s imperative that we confront bullies, and that we expose them when we can. The discussions that this incident has generated are important and necessary, especially during National Bullying Prevention Month. But I think we have to go further, and talk about how this man’s choice of words makes what he said even worse, and perpetuates myths about why we’re fat.

Choice. He said Jennifer Livingston has made a choice to be fat. There are some people who do choose to be fat, like the Arizona mother who, for some reason, wants to be the world’s fattest women. But I would be willing to bet that for the majority of fat people in this world, being fat is not a choice. I know it’s not for me. I work out, I walk half marathons, I eat wholesome, nutritious food. I also have fat genes in my family that prevent me from staying any smaller than I am (I can get smaller, true, but I can’t stay there without near starvation and working out for hours and hours every day. That’s not a lifestyle I can or choose to maintain). There are many people who, for many reasons, do not choose to be fat, but nonetheless are. Calling being fat a choice is ridiculous. I don’t choose to be fat any more than I choose to be 5’3″.

Now let’s talk about “habit.” There are several definitions of habit:

  • An acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.
  • Customary practice or use.
  • A particular practice, custom, or usage: the habit of shaking hands.
  • A dominant or regular disposition or tendency.
  • Addiction, especially to narcotics.
I’m honestly not sure which of these definitions the author of the nasty email (his name is Kenneth Krause) had in mind when he used that word. But none of these definitions explain why I have a fat body.

Fat is rarely a choice or a habit. It is a uncontrollable fact of life for many of us, and this man’s belittling, bullying comments, and his complete lack of understanding about why people are fat (contrary to popular belief, most of us are not lazy, stupid, and gluttonous), is small-minded and sad.

As Jennifer Livingston pointed out, we don’t need other people to tell us we’re fat. We know. What we need is for everyone to treat us like human beings worthy of love, opportunity, and respect, to support us in our efforts to achieve and maintain healthy lifestyles, and to, frankly, keep their mouths shut if they can’t do those things.
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