You know that old chestnut about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and how that totally doesn’t make any sense? In theory, we all see how true it is. And yet, I see people trying another diet, another method of weight loss. The weight hasn’t stayed off in the past, no matter how badly you want it to and how hard you’ve worked, but this time it will be different. This time, you want it more. This time, you’re going to do it right.
Here’s the truth: Pretty much every diet fails. Not ever dieter, but every diet. The people who sell diets want you to believe that you are failure, but the truth is, they sell products that do not work. If I offered you a product that was known to fail 95% of the time, would you buy it? No, you would tell me to go on my way and never come back to this neighborhood, and you would slam the door forcefully in my face!
Okay, so if diets don’t work, and you’re unhappy with your body, what can you do about it? All hope is certainly not lost, my friends. You just need to shift your focus from your stomach to your head. We have been conditioned to believe that weight loss can be permanent, and that it is the key to eternal health and happiness. I challenge you to let those beliefs go. Give up the idea of getting smaller. Give up the idea that a thin(ner) version of you will be happy and healthy. It’s not easy. In fact, it can be downright scary to let go of these long-held beliefs. But there are good things waiting on the other side of letting go, I promise.
Take a look at your body and your life, and list your goals – goals that might seem to be related to or incumbent upon your body becoming smaller. Here are some suggestions:
- I want to be able to keep up with my kids.
- I want to not be winded when I take the stairs.
- I want to find love.
- I want to like what I see in the mirror.
These are excellent goals! And while “getting thin” might seem to be the means to those ends, these goals aren’t really about the size of your body. Rather, they’re about your physical health and mental health.
It can be tempting to believe that if you make your body smaller, you will be able to race around the park with your kids, and you’ll take the stairs two at a time without breathing heavy. Think about this: If you are not feeding your body enough calories to properly function, how is that going to help you chase your kids around? Instead of putting down your fork, try picking up a dumbbell, or lacing up your sneakers. Want to feel better physically? Train your heart and lungs to be more efficient. Make your muscles stronger. Even small increases in physical activity will have benefits, and there’s a good chance that you’ll get hooked on the endorphins from exercise and want to keep moving.
As for your mental health, that’s probably going to take more work than it will to get your heart, lungs, and muscles in shape. You’ve likely spent a lifetime believing that you are not good enough because of the size and shape of your body. Learning to accept, like, and even love yourself is a rough slog, for sure. Start by treating yourself the way you would treat someone you love: be kind, and be patient. Stop talking to and about yourself in negative ways. If you have issues with food, find help (and make sure it’s not the kind of help that focuses on weight loss). You are not in this alone. Mental health is a crucial component of your overall health; exercise your head and heart just as you do you your body.
The dieting world is all about less: calories, foods you are ‘allowed’ to eat, your size (temporarily, at least). I challenge you to leave that behind, and instead embrace a world of more: More movement, more kindness, more joy. Instead of decreasing your calories as a way of improving your health, try increasing your cardiovascular endurance and strength, and your mental well-being. I’m confident you’ll end up with a happier, healthier you.
Different thing, different results!
