Thanksgiving Challenge

You know those challenges that pop up now and then on social media –  ab challenge, plank challenge, push-up challenge – where you follow a monthly schedule that dares you to do more and more? The ones with pictures of how ripped and amazing your body is going to look after thirty days of hard work and dedication? Yeah, this is nothing like that.

Yeah, I'm sure in 30 days my butt will look just like this!
I’m sure in 30 days my butt will look just like this!

Now, I think it’s safe to say that pretty much every one of us has a complicated relationship with food. Whether we’re suffering from intense guilt and shame for the “bad” things we’ve eaten, or we’re elated at how “good” we’ve been and want to tell everyone about the latest food that has changed our lives forever, food and strong emotion go hand in hand. Sadly, more often than not, we fear food and what it might do to us, especially in terms of our weight.

So, here’s your challenge: This Thanksgiving – and straight on through to the New Year and beyond (to forever!), if you dare – I challenge you to stop fearing food. Let go of the guilt. Don’t fret about how much stuffing and green bean casserole you’ve eaten. Don’t pile a big scoop of shame onto your plate next to the sweet potatoes and turkey.

Now, some people will think I’m encouraging you to be a glutton all day every day. I’m not. I think it’s important to establish a healthy relationship with food, to educate ourselves about nutrition, and to fuel our bodies in ways that help us to function well and live long lives. But fear doesn’t have to – and shouldn’t – be a part of that. My go-to motto for food? “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

So then, what about the guilt, shame, and fear that other people serve up at the holidays? Making friends with food is tough enough without “well meaning” family and friends butting in. From your aunt who asks if you really need a second helping, to the Facebook friends who post articles about how to “survive” the holidays without weight gain, the obstacles to repairing your relationship with food are everywhere.

There are a number of ways to deal with these folks. You can ignore them, educate them, amuse them. Check out these comebacks from Clinton Kelly, where “she” is your hypothetical nosy Aunt Tammy:

She says: “Did you gain weight?”
You say: “Yes, but I lost my will to live. If I’m not back from the bathroom in, like, 20 minutes, I’m probably not coming back. Tell Dad I loved him the most.”

She says: “Someone’s putting on the pounds!”
You say: “Have you seen this family? I was literally dealt the worse genetic hand possible. What the hell? Now I just carry around my own butter.”

Clinton, the king of sass.
Clinton, the king of sass.

Remember: What and how much you eat is your business. Feel free to let people know that.

Repairing your relationship with food probably isn’t going to be easy or quick. It’s taken you years to learn to be afraid of food, to feel guilt and shame about what you choose to put in your mouth. Unlearning those habits and behaviors might take just as long. So, be patient with yourself. Be kind (even – and especially – when others aren’t).

Start by eating what you want on Thanksgiving Day without questioning or fretting about every forkful. Don’t engage in conversations about how bad everyone feels after they’re done eating, and the things they’re going to have to do to make up for their gluttony. I know it’s going to be a challenge, but I have faith that you can do it. This can be a positive change for the rest of your life. I’d like to see the plank challenge do that!

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