Sorry Not Sorry

Y’all, I have noticed lately that a lot of people are sorry for a lot of things. If you’ve done something to hurt someone, then sure, sorry can be a good and necessary thing. But I feel like we’re apologizing for things that we don’t need to apologize for.



sorry count

Here are some things that you don’t need to be sorry for:

  • What you like to wear.
  • What you like to eat.
  • What you ate – or didn’t eat.
  • What you like to do – or not do – for exercise.
  • Taking the time to care for yourself.
  • Not feeling up to making plans.
  • Being mad.
  • Being glad.
  • Not caring.
  • Having a hard day.
  • Having a good day.
  • Struggling with liking yourself.
  • Totally liking yourself.
  • Being proud of yourself.
  • The state of your hair, your skin, your body.
  • Not meeting the expectations of society, media, your mother, your partner, yourself.

Did you notice that my list is full of both positive and negative things? That’s because I’ve noticed that people not only apologize for what they feel are their failures, mistakes, and inadequacies, but also for their successes and happiness. Why did we start doing that?! If you’re having a good day, if you did something awesome and want to brag about, if you look smashing and took an amazing selfie and want to post it online, go right ahead! I’ll be standing behind you, waving my pom-poms. Celebrating your successes and happiness is nothing to be sorry for. And having a down day, being blue, or failing to accomplish something are not things to be sorry for, either. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has a tough go now and then. That’s part of being human.

sorry Joey
This can be all of us.

Also part of being human? Having a body that doesn’t look anything at all like the bodies you see on TV and in magazines – or even like the bodies of the people in your life. Having a body that doesn’t respond to food and exercise the way it “should.” Having a body that sometimes wants to run three miles and sometimes wants to eat cookie dough ice cream straight from the container – on the same day, even! You do not have to apologize for not looking like Beyonce, or Matt Bomer, or Adele, or Idris Elba. Because the only people who do are Beyonce, Matt Bomer, Adele, and Idris Elba. You get to have a flat stomach or a double belly. You get to have no hair, frizzy hair, blue hair. You get to be – and look – like you, without having to say you’re sorry.

You are more than the sum of your parts. You are every good day, every bad day, every muscle, every stretch mark. You are your highest moments, and your lowest. You are every drop of sweat, every lazy Sunday afternoon, every frustration, every triumph. And you have nothing to be sorry about.