It takes a whole lot of hard work to love your body as it is. Many of us spend our lives fighting our bodies, trying to mold them into what we think they should look like. We think that if we just try hard enough, we’ll eventually be able to coerce our bodies into being what we are sure they really mean to be. More often than not, that’s a losing battle. But sometimes, if we try hard enough, we can learn to be at peace with ourselves and our shape, whatever shape that may be.
One of the biggest obstacles to loving ourselves and our bodies is other people. Think for a minute about how many decisions you make every day based on what other people might think about how you look or what you’re doing with your body. How many of us truly dress for ourselves? Wear our hair the way we like it best? (That’s a really tricky one, especially for us women who prefer our hair short.) Move our bodies in the way that is most enjoyable, no matter how we might look doing it?
It’s pretty awful to get shouted at on the street when you’re out moving. That’s happened to me several times. But it doesn’t stop me from going out there and walking as fast as I can. I had to learn to be okay with the fact that some people are going to find my fat body upsetting or offensive. I have every right to be out in the world – moving my body, wearing workout clothes, and enjoying the world – as anyone else. Sadly, there are a lot of people who think they need to police people like me, put us in our place, remind us that they don’t think we’re good enough.
One very powerful way to start loving your body is to remind yourself – say it out loud! – that the opinions of others don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if magazines say you shouldn’t wear leggings and a tunic if you’re over a certain size. Do you like how you look in them? Wear them! It doesn’t matter if someone tells you that they think you ought to grow your hair out because it’s just “too” short. Do you like that pixie cut? Rock it! It doesn’t matter if someone gives you the side eye when you drop the towel and dive into the swimming pool. Do you like doing laps? Do them! Dress the way that makes you feel beautiful. Do your hair and makeup the way that make you feel good (or don’t do your hair and makeup at all!). Move your body where and when it gives you the most pleasure.
It’s your body, to do with what you will. Yours.
The next time you look in the mirror and hesitate, ask yourself where that hesitation is coming from. If it’s not coming from inside you, if you’re looking in the mirror and worried about what someone else might think, stop. Make a conscious effort to care only about how you feel about yourself at that moment. Then fling open the door and walk proudly out into the world and dare it not to love you.
