Acknowledgement is so important to our emotional and mental health. When we’ve made some kind of improvement or reached a certain goal, it’s all the more rewarding to have that improvement or goal acknowledged by the people around us (and even strangers).
What’s one of the things we most like to be complimented on? Weight loss. How good it feels to have someone exclaim, “Have you lost weight?!”
But how do you respond if you haven’t been trying to lose weight? There are circumstances where weight loss in unintentional, and having to answer that seemingly positive question can be uncomfortable and stressful. Imagine the person who has undergone months of chemotherapy and radiation for cancer. Sure, they may have dropped several dress sizes, but I’d be willing to bet they’d trade those pounds for their former good health. Stress may also cause someone to lose weight – from the loss of a loved one to the loss of a job, and so many things in between.
I know this because I speak from experience. For the past several months, I have been suffering from this unexplained and near constant upper abdominal bloating, and no matter what kind or what quantity of food I eat, I feel like I’ve just stuffed myself with Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve been poked and prodded by several medical professionals. Thankfully, everything seems to be fine: I don’t have celiac disease or lactose intolerance; there are no tumors or ulcers or anything like that. So, it’s an uncomfortable problem, but not a worrisome one. Which is great. But.
But I’m having a hard time finding things to eat that don’t exacerbate my symptoms. For the past several weeks, I’ve been living primarily on Boost nutritional shakes, eggs, and peanut butter. (Not a diet I recommend, although I do love peanut butter.) Obviously, during this time I’ve lost several pounds. Friends and coworkers have remarked on how good I look, that my face is thinner. Oh, but I would gladly gain back those lost pounds if it gave me back the ability to fuel my body in the normal way, believe me!
My gastroenterologist was thrilled when she noted that, in about 12 days, I’d dropped three pounds. “That’s great!” she said. I replied, “It’s because I’m barely eating!” (It was at this point that I reminded her I’m training for a half marathon, and need lots of energy to fuel my workouts.) “But weight loss is great! It’s going to make you feel better!” she insisted. I explained to the doctor – not for the first time – that I just want to feel better, that weight loss is the furthest thing from my mind. But my doctor, like most of the world, simply equates any weight loss with improved health.
The next time you see someone who has lost weight, think before you speak. It could be that the weight loss was unintentional, and to acknowledge it will put the person in an awkward position of having to explain things they’d maybe rather not talk about. It’s just another reason for us to rethink “skinny = healthy.”
