When we last checked in with Laurie, she had made a few attempts at dieting – and realized, in retrospect, that she wasn’t as fat as she thought she was. Now, she details her more serious attempts at trying to get the weight off. This is the third part of Laurie’s journey. Click to read Part 1 and Part 2.
Part 3: The Struggles Continue
The next few years after college was when I started gaining and just didn’t stop. Well, there were a couple of diet-shaped bumps in the road. I tried Weight Watchers again – joined myself this time, because my office offered a discounted membership rate – but I quit after only about 25 pounds. I just lost interest. I lived alone, didn’t socialize much, and had no motivation to stay on any kind of plan. The problem was, I found it difficult to cook for just one person. WW is all about learning to prepare healthy meals and make smart choices at the grocery store. I was in my 20’s. A smart choice at the grocery store meant I got the Family Size box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese because it lasted longer. I didn’t have a lot of money to burn, and I had zero ability to plan ahead or even consider the notion of making something and freezing it. The WW recipes I had made dinners for four, six, eight, a friggin’ dinner party. If I made dinner for four, chances are I’d eat it all in one sitting. So…no more WW for me.
I tried Jenny Craig again – twice, in fact – and I was instantly struck by how much harder it was to diet in my mid-20’s than it was in my teens, and even harder once I hit 30. I always thought that was a myth. I don’t know. Maybe it was, but I certainly didn’t breeze through 30 pounds like I had in high school. Again, I could probably blame a lot of things (not enough money for a gym, not enough room in my apartment to exercise, etc.). But the truth of it was that I just didn’t want to give up food. I didn’t have a whole lot to make me happy, and I’ve always been Instant Gratification Girl. Food fit that bill nicely – instant satisfaction, instant happy – and I wasn’t willing to part with one of the few joys in my life.
When I got back into Jenny again in my 30’s, the biggest change was that I was going to the gym on an almost daily basis. My office offered a discounted membership to a local gym, and a friend and I went together almost every day. It was fun – nice to get out of the office, and nice to have someone to go with. I actually stuck with that routine for almost two years, and did fairly well. I don’t think I ever felt healthy, though. I was a smoker, I was still somewhere around 250, and I’m sure I didn’t follow the Jenny plan to the letter this time. Also, as often as I was going to the gym, and as much as I enjoyed it while I went (with company), there was never a day that I wouldn’t hope for any excuse not to go. I rarely, if ever, went alone. So if my friend couldn’t go, or wasn’t at work, I didn’t go. It never reached the point of routine for me, like all the people say it’s supposed to, and when the gym we went to closed their doors, I stopped working out altogether.
I went back to Weight Watchers again in 2011 – it was the affordability and convenience of it that drew me back in. Again offered the discounted membership fee through my office, and the meetings were held right here in the building. Another thing that hauled my fat ass back was the fact that I’d had a baby, and that was just about the time he started walking. I was dumbfounded by how uncomfortable and out of shape I was (I was up over 300 lbs at this point) and I knew that if I didn’t do something about it soon, I’d never be able to keep up with my son.
I did very well on the plan this time. I found it much easier to follow (it helped that I was cooking for two, soon to be three, as my son was moving on to “big kid” food) this time, and I was pleasantly surprised by how rapidly the weight started coming off. I lost almost 50 pounds in just over six months, and I felt pretty good. I still wasn’t going to the gym or working out at all – I was too jazzed by the fact that I could lose that weight without having to work out!! – so I skipped it entirely.
In July of 2011 I had a bout with some kidney stones, ended up having to have surgery to remove them, and dropped Weight Watchers like a hot baked potato. When I’m not feeling well, or there’s a lot of crap going on in my life, the one thing I always turned to was food. I always thought, “Everything else is totally crappy. I deserve to have something to make me happy.” Really, it was just an excuse to be able to eat whatever I wanted again. And boy, did I. I had gotten down into the 280’s at the peak of my weight loss, and I managed to eat myself back to about 335 lbs.
Which is what brought me to my doctor’s office, to have a conversation about weight loss surgery.
Next time, we’ll go with Laurie to her doctor’s office to learn how she made the decision to have weight loss surgery.
If you have a story you’d like to share, please contact me at bigfitdeal@gmail.com.
