“You’re too confident.” I’ve been told numerous times that I’m intimidating to men because I’m “too” confident. Is this really something that bothers men? Is that the reason I can’t seem to meet anyone?
I had a discussion about this with some friends lately. Some think that men actually prefer a confident woman. Some think that, indeed, a confident woman is intimidating, and men would prefer an insecure woman. I’m sure that for some men, the former is true, and for others, the latter.
But it got me to thinking: Is the real problem that men don’t expect fat women to be confident? Shouldn’t a fat woman instead be insecure, and willingly and gladly accept the attention of any man, regardless of if he is a good person, or kind, or decent? Sadly, I know some fat women who operate this way.
The fact is, I am confident. I think I’m smart and funny and fun to be around. I love to meet new people, and that includes handsome men. If I think you’re attractive, I have no problem walking right up to you in a crowded room and introducing myself. Flirting is one of my favorite past times. But I always wonder: Does the size of my body affect how men react to my confidence, or do men just prefer to be the instigator, the confident one? More often than not, I feel it is my size in conjunction with my confidence that is unappealing. After all, fat people shouldn’t have confidence, right?
(This whole discussion reminds me of that story I told awhile ago, about the girl in college who said, “You have really good self-esteem for a fat person.”)
I don’t have any answers. Maybe you do?
