My Body Valentine

Photo by Paul Cross.

Dear Body,

I’m sorry that I’ve spent so much time wishing you were different.
I’m sorry I blamed you for not being small enough.
I’m sorry I tried to force you into a shape you couldn’t be.
I’m sorry for every time I cried at your reflection.
I’m sorry I believed loneliness, emptiness, and sadness were your fault.
I’m sorry I thought that shame would change you.
I’m sorry I pushed you to do things that hurt.
I’m sorry for the injuries I caused you because I was trying to change you.
I’m sorry none of your accomplishments were good enough for me.
I’m sorry I forced you to fit into places that were too small.
I’m sorry I squeezed you into things that pinched and pulled.
I’m sorry I blamed you for the people who didn’t love me.
I’m sorry I blamed you for the people who didn’t love me enough.
I’m sorry I blamed you for the people who stopped loving me.
I’m sorry I doubted that you knew what you needed to thrive.
I’m sorry for the times I didn’t feed you enough.
I’m sorry for wishing I didn’t have to feed you at all.
I’m sorry for the times I didn’t give you chocolate when you wanted it.

Thank you for holding on through the pain.
Thank you for holding on through the grief.
Thank you for holding on through the hunger.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for your resilience.
Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for waiting for me to catch up.

Be my valentine. For now and for always.