The other day I unfriended someone on Facebook. We weren’t particularly close or anything, but it still gave me a little twinge of disappointment to click that button. I don’t know how you feel about FB, but I love it. I love getting a peek into other people’s lives, seeing what they’re up to. But sometimes, between the food photos and the kid videos and the status updates, I see things I’d rather not. Sometimes I can get past them, but other times they offend me right to the core. And that’s when I hit the unfriend button.
This post is brought to you by fictional best friends.
On the rare occasion that I unfriend someone, it’s usually because I can’t tolerate their political or religious beliefs, because their bigotry is something I no longer want to be exposed to. I have friends who comment constantly about their weight loss, weird diets, and crazy workout routines, but I generally just scroll past those posts. The more deeply I get involved in the body acceptance and HAES communities, though, the less I enjoy seeing those. But I remain friends with those people in the hopes that they’ll click on a link I post, read something I’ve written, and open their minds to the idea of focusing their efforts on health gains instead of weight loss.
But I am one hundred percent done with people who post fat “jokes.” Just done. I don’t think it’s funny when you post a photo of some very fat woman with her belly hanging out of her shirt and make a crack about what’s appropriate for girls to wear when the weather gets hot. I don’t find it amusing when you insinuate that fat people need to put down the fast food, junk food, snack food – as if all fat people are gluttonous pigs who sit around all day stuffing their faces with Little Debbie snack cakes and Chicken McNuggets.
I thought about emailing this person to ask them why they post that stuff, or to ask them to stop. But then I realized that I just don’t care. I have seen enough from this person to know that they think fat people exist to be mocked, shamed, and made fun of. Sure, I could attempt to change their mind. And maybe I should have at least tried. But at the end of the day, as I sat looking at her* Facebook profile page, I realized I just wanted to get rid of her and be done with it.
I’ve always been one of those people who hangs on to others, even when having them in my life isn’t necessary or needed. I’ve always struggled with giving things up, whether it’s a worn-out pair of shoes, a TV show that has jumped the shark, or a friend who is no longer good for me. Over the past few years, however, I’ve learned that letting go is necessary – and often powerful. Have you let go of people? Unfriended them? What made you close that door, and how do you feel now that it’s shut? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
*Are you surprised that it’s a woman?
