Imagine for a minute that you’ve just walked into a crowded room. Everyone turns to stare at you. Some point, some make disgusted faces. Some whisper behind their friends, and some laugh. Now imagine you walk into a room and nobody notices. No one even makes eye contact. The party goes on without you, as if you aren’t even there.
Neither of those situations sound very pleasant, do they? But both of these experiences happen to fat people. Let’s break it down.
Say a fat person walks into a gym. They are immediately and constantly visible. It’s like Big Bird suddenly walked in. Hard to ignore an eight foot tall yellow bird, right? Because, even though society, medical professionals, and the media are constantly reminding us that we had better do everything in our power to stop being so lazy and gross and such a financial burden on the world and generally ruining life as we know it for everyone else, no one wants us to get un-fat publicly. So even though we should go to a gym to improve our aesthetic value (because, let’s face it, that’s what most fat hatred is actually about), I guess we’re supposed to arrange to go when the club is closed so that no one has to be subjected to seeing our fat bodies in motion? Oh! I may have just come up with a very lucrative idea: Overnight Gyms for Fatties!
Oh, you noticed me? I thought I could sneak by without being seen.
Anyway, there are other places where fat people are very visible as well, such as at the beach or a pool. God forbid someone with a fat body dare to proudly parade themselves around in a bathing suit. I mean, they’re just asking to be gawked at and mocked, right? And fat people are also very visible in places where food is purchased and consumed. If a fat person dares to grocery shop or eat at a restaurant, then it’s obviously the responsibility of the thin people around them to criticize their choices.
Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are places and events where fat people are pretty much invisible. For me, walking into a bar or social event can make me feel like Snuffleupagus (the old school one who only Big Bird could see). No one wants to make eye contact with me in case I might want to, you know, attract their attention in a romantic way. This is even true if I’m in a social environment for non-social reasons. Here’s an example: Several times I have been at local bars to recruit men to help with a fundraising event for a non-profit organization. While I am talking with a man about the event, a thin, pretty girl approaches. The man cuts me off and starts talking to the other girl. His attention becomes entirely focused on her. I even had one physically turn his back on me.
Definitely nothing to see here.
I have been invisible at singles mingles, parties, and other dating events. I have been invisible at clothing stores, because god forbid a sales clerk have to tell me that they don’t have anything that will fit me (although I have also been very visible in stores, where clerks go out of their way to tell me they don’t want me shopping there).
At the end of the day, we can’t control the reactions of others, but we can control how we walk through the world. At the gym, I walk with my head held high and my shoulders back. I know I am visible, and so I stare back. I make eye contact and smile. Because I am secure in my physical abilities, I have confidence, and I refuse to let my visibility be a negative thing. Same goes for every time I put on a swimsuit. In social situations, where I often feel invisible (or, more accurately, that people wish I was), I work very hard at making people see me. I am friendly and outgoing, I laugh and smile. They may not want to see me, but I’m going to make it very tough to ignore me.
Have you ever felt like Snuffleupagus? Big Bird? Both? Share in the comments!
