How many times in the last few days have you seen or heard an advertisement challenging you to be the best you can be, to be a whole new you? At this time of year especially, we’re minded that the key to personal success is, of course, all about achieving a specific weight (hint: it’s not the one you’re at now).
The lure of how wonderful your life will be when you reach a smaller weight is strong. Maybe you feel you can’t keep up with your kids at your current weight. Maybe you feel you will be a better person – kinder, smarter, more lovable – when you’re smaller. Maybe you feel your life is on hold because of your size, and when you are smaller you will be able to travel, mountain climb, square dance, run, fall in love.
First of all, you can do all of those things even when you’re fat. You can become a better person right now, through a thousand means, and none of them have to be about trying to manipulate the size of your body. Physically, you can increase your endurance and stamina, you can improve the way your heart and lungs work. And when you do that, you will be able to keep up with your kids and you can all travel together to the international run and mountain climb, followed by a celebratory square dance with the love of your life.
Seriously, though, there’s something really important I want to tell you about losing weight: It doesn’t change who you are. It’s easy to believe the messages about how life will be perfect when you fit into those size whatever jeans, but the person sliding them onto those slimmer hips? Still you. Losing weight doesn’t change your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your desires. It doesn’t change the things that move or motivate or frustrate you, it doesn’t make you more clever or more kind or more lovable.
If you are thick and mean and unlovable right now, you’re going to be that way when you’re thin. If you’re funny, or judgmental, or sweet, or sassy, or stubborn, you’re going to be those things when you’re thin. You are you, no matter your size. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that a thin you is a better you. It’s not even going to be a different you. Just a smaller you, for awhile.
If there’s something in your life that’s dragging you down, there’s no guarantee that making your body lighter is going to fix it. Instead of making weight loss your goal, think about ways you can make yourself healthier and happier. Those things can last a lifetime.
